Friday, 14 May 2010

Weekword: mother

This weeks weekword was mother and Aris picked it, go to her blog peekadoo and see who els is playing.
Mother for me is very much myself being a mother.

Big questions.
Monday evening when I came home from work she was already in bed but still awake, we talked a bit and then I told her that I was gonna take a bath and I wouldn´t be able to hear her from the bathroom so she better go to sleep. We said goodnight. After a few minutes I heard her crying and when I got up from my bath her father had carried her to our bed. She was devestated and asked me: why do we have to die mum?
I tryed to explain as good as I coould but over and over again she kept asking: WHY do we have to die mum? I finally said I had to sleep and during the night I would try to figure out a good answer. First thing she asked when we woke up was ofcurse the same question. I tryed to explain again and I told her that I would go and buy "the death book" and that we could read it togather in the evening.
When we opend the book and started to read it said that sometimes small people start to think about death and that it´s not easy to explain. Even if your big, or very big (as an elephant) it can be hard to understand. And then she started to cry, really cry. She said that she had started to think about death during my bath last night and that she couldn´t understand that I had to die one day.

The apple doesn´t fall far from the tree.
What would you like to do, u can choose whatever...
(J) I would really like to use that box with light mum, the one that you use when u draw your drawings. Can I use it? And then I would like to have a big paper, or one that is yellow. And I want to use a black pen. your pen.
After one minute: (J) I can´t do this mum, it´s to hard. I can´t see through the paper and it keeps moving. You have to help me.
-Can´t you draw just by looking at the comicbook, it´s better. and easier.
(J) NOOOO, I can´t you have to do it.
-hmm, but then I would prefer if we would draw something else. Perhaps that octopus that you asked me to draw the other day. Should we do that?


hanna-happenings said...

Du är en fin moder.

Roligt att dom vill använda ljusbordet, det ska jag testa med min 4åring!

Aris said...

oh it is hard ttalk about these things. MY husband and I used to say we were going to tell our kids that smokestacks were cloud making machines and that when animals were dead on the side of the road they are just napping.... It is so hard to let them know the sad hard things...
Ahh star wars I say the same how about we draw something else!(: Never a dull moment always something to smile about.
Have a wonderful weekend. I hope your daughter is feeling better.

B said...

Thanks for sharing these glimpses of your life as mother. Yes - death. They can't seem to get their little minds around it... but I don't think we really can either. Have a wonderful weekend and I can't wait to see what else you put on your 'big' paper! B.

handmade romance said...

wow chatting about death with a youngster must be such a tough part of being a mother. i dont remember my mum talking about this with me. thanks for sharing this moment with us.
i like your octopus drawing too. perhaps inspiration for an underwater pattern in the future... with sea urchins and all sorts of lovely flowing underwater plants and things : )

Elisabeth said...

Jag tycker att det är hur jobbigt som helst att prata om döden med barnen... Kan knappt få fram ljud pga klumpen i halsen...

Gillar era bläckfiskar.

Fruenswerk said...

G-sus...small kids with big questions...I don´t understand why either...In fact I can´t think of a good answer...It´s very weird to live a life...just to die in the end??? Sad in a way...

Fruenswerk said...

Øhhh...Hmmm...I didn´t mean G-sus in a "bad" way...
My english words, is not always what´s in my danish head..:)

Veja cecilia said...

hanna: ja det här med ljusbordet är en hit!
aris: yes, it´s one thing to think about what to say bf. the arrive but when they come with their questions when u expect it the least, it´s hard!
B: no it´s hard to think about death, but also very important.
I´m looking forward at attacking my big paper again but it will take some time.
evie: can´t remember my mother talking about it either. but I have always been afraid to talk about death. having kids is like no more excuses to not think about it and trying to understand. but hard! a pattern, yes!
elisabeth: klump ja, hur stor som helst!
lotte: yes. sad. I taled to someone at my job about it, she belives in god (I don´t) and I think one of god things with beliving is the answer to what happens when one dies. I have no answers to give the kids:(

Pia Johansson said...

Det finns en bilderbok av Ulf Nilsson om döden också, som är fin: farfar och lammen heter den, med bilder av Jens Ahlbom. Man kan få den på begravningsbyrån när någon dör, men den borde nog gå att låna också. Rekomenderas, särskilt för lite halvstora barn, så finns ju herr muffin förstås, också Ulf Nilsson.

when skies are grey said...

this is so moving, and such a hard subject too. thanks for sharing Cecilia :)